This picture may seem innocuous, but it means a lot to me. The kid getting into the back seat of this car is my nephew Karson, getting into my father’s car. Karson had spent some time visiting his grandparents (my parents) over the Christmas holiday, and was about to return home to his mother.
That was more than seven years ago: December of 2004. I have not seen Karson since this picture was taken. Neither has anyone else in my family. For reasons unknown to any of us, Karson’s mother has not allowed any of us – including Karson’s father (my brother) – to see him since that trip. I won’t discuss the details of our efforts since 2004 to reach out to Karson, other than to say that they have not been successful.
Tomorrow will be Karson’s fifteenth birthday.
I do not, and cannot, blame Karson’s mother for how things are situated now. She has clearly made bad decisions concerning this matter, but my own life is riddled with choices that, in hindsight, were far worse than any of hers. I have not walked in her shoes, and do not know what events, or thoughts, or past experiences, have caused her to act as she has. I have no way of knowing whether I might have done the same things if faced with the same circumstances.
She is also all that Karson has known for most of his life. She is his mother, and I hope that she has done well in showing Karson the love and dedication that this title implies. I would expect Karson to be fiercely loyal to her and to honor and love her tremendously–as he should.
But Karson, you also have a father who cares for you just as much. Your father – my brother – has gone through his own struggles in life, and like me, he has not always made the best choices. But he has emerged from those struggles as a man of honor, someone whom you would be very proud to call your dad. I know I am very proud to call him my brother, and I would entrust my life to him if it ever came to that. I know for a fact that he misses you tremendously: just today he asked me if I had any photos of you I could send him. I sent him every one that I had.
There is very little that I can do about this sad business, especially living as far away from everyone involved as I do, other than to pray for everyone involved–and to post this missive here on my blog. I would love to be able to send Karson birthday greetings directly, to joke with him about drivers ed, about girlfriends, and college, and stupid YouTube videos, and all the crazy and silly things I used to joke about when I was 15. But I have no way of doing that.
Karson, if you ever read this, I pray that you are doing well. You have an entire “other” half of your family that loves you and misses you very much. You have a beautiful new baby sister who is just now learning to walk and talk. You have two new adorable nieces, and a new nephew as well. We have not forgotten you, nor will we ever. You are always – always - welcome in our homes, and in our lives.
In the meantime, love and respect your mother, and give glory to God for all things.
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